Why This Benefit Means the World To Me

The morning after the medical examiner carried my sister's lifeless body out of house, I sat immobile, curled up on the couch, unable to think, feel, or speak. The words "funeral" and "wake" circled around me, but my mind blocked the image of having to bury the closest person I had in my life. The sleepless and tearful nights turned into hazy days with bloodshot eyes. But the world kept spinning, days went on, and we had to make the arrangements. As an event planner in my past career, sitting through planning meetings was par for the course. But being on the receiving end was entirely new. I didn't have the energy, the mental capacity, and willpower to make decisions for Lauren's final celebration. "Yes," "no," and "maybe." was the extent of what I could muster up the courage to say. My mom and I had to make more decisions during the course of that week than ever before in my life, and I had to do it all with a shattered heart.

I curse whoever decided to make funerals happen as rapidly after death as they do.

The funeral came and went in a blur, and I can recall only bits and pieces.: A few hugs, a few meltdowns, and combing my sister's beautiful blond hair for the very last time.

This was the last memory I would ever have of my sister, and my mind fights to forget it entirely.

As the days went on, the sweet messages of condolences began fading, and I couldn't bear the fact that this would be it, that someday the memories would fade from others and I would have to live in a world where I wasn't surrounded vocally by the love for Lauren that other's shared. My shattered heart crumbled all over again.

A few weeks went by and I was approached by Lauren's closest friends in pharmacy school. They discussed possibility of creating a scholarship in Lauren's honor, and with that one simple message it felt like ,my life had a purpose again. Year after year, her story would be heard by eager students on the same path she created for herself. It was the perfect way to commemorate the love my sister had for her education.

The momentum was spread throughout the community as generous donations came in, but we knew we were far from reaching the $30,000 endowment. Family and friends came together and the idea of a benefit was created.

This benefit has been my saving grace, it became the outlet of my grief.

To most, it is just another event on the calendar, but to me, it is so much more than that.

It is the memorial I was too numb to plan.

It is the brainchild of the girls who befriended my sister in pre-school, highschool, and beyond.

It is the wedding that I promised to throw for my sister when the time came.

It is the manifestation of support from local businesses and organizations.

It is a chance to talk about openly about mental illness.

It is a day to celebrate the beautiful life of a girl who God took home too soon.

Planning this event has given me the opportunity to reflect on the happiest times of my sister's life. from editing a video clip of her taking her first steps, to the stories her friend's share at our meetings, making centerpieces that Lauren would roll her eyes to the back of her head at, and haring Lauren's story with the businesses that we partnered with.

Every ticket sold warms my heart a little more, and with just one week away, I am beaming with excitement and love.

I hope that everyone reading this purchases a ticket. Whether you knew Lauren or not, this is a day of celebration, community, and love.

I know deep within my heart that Lauren will be smiling down and laughing with us all day, with of course a little eye-rolling and a whole lot of blushing.

Lastly, thank you to this amazing group of girls who are making this possible:

Colleen Russel, Angela Kocanda, Lizzy Famera, Becca Doyle, Erica Hernandez, Kara Scully, Lisa Higgens, Steph Rich, Shelby Kodis, Astrid Delgado, Helen Sweiss, and Charissa Valdez (and of course, my mom)

Click here to purchase your ticket