WHY I WRITE
CONTACT ME
The night before my sister’s funeral, I found myself curled in a ball searching the internet far and wide for anything that would help me make sense of what was happening. That night I realized that I lived in a world where I could find 700,000 chocolate chip cookies recipes in a quick google search, but nothing that could remotely help explain my feelings and how to get through the next few days. “7 tips on how to get over a loss” was far from what I needed at that moment. "How I overcame my father's suicide in 10 years" was out of reach. I was only three days into grieving and couldn't even envision my life the next week.
Grieving is a slow, painful, and isolating process. No one understood me and my emotions, or could relate in any way. In fact, I didn’t really even understand them myself. When I spoke out loud to people, I felt as if I was under a microscope. Every word was dissected, every facial feature was studied. So I began writing. When I write, I can lay out my raw feelings, take as much time as I need, reflect, and revisit. I can post what I choose to and archive what I don’t. I can edit when I uncover something new, and delete what no longer relates. I could become the resource I so desperately needed when I lost my sister.
I write for myself, above all else, but I share it so that others suffering will feel less alone. I want everyone in the world to know the significance of suicide and the incredible amount of trauma associated. Whether you had suicidal thoughts and attempts, lost a loved one, or want to better equipped yourself to handle a person impacted by suicide, this space is for you. I am not a licensed therapist, I do not possess the cure to mental illness, I cannot tell you what is right or wrong nor can I take away your pain. But what I can offer is my side of suicide; my grief, my pain, my commitment to helping you get through it as well.
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